Your Failures Do Not Define You

Have you ever failed miserably at anything? Have you ever made a big mistake that seemed impossible to repair? Or maybe you had people stare you in the face and tell you “you’re just not good enough”

If so, then you’re not alone cos I had been there at some point in my life.

Though young, but there were times in my life when I wanted to give up. I just couldn’t deal with shame then. I remember my primary five teachers telling me “you’re never going to be as good as your brother was”. And then each time I picked up my books to read or stared into the mirror, all I could see was failure and so I never bothered to try.

…..To try to press on….

…..To try to persevere….

…..To try to keep on…..

Or even to try to figure things out.

Somehow I felt my teacher’s knew way better about me since I was just a child and elders are considered to be the wise ones. I felt like they knew I was never going to be a success story and so this mind set continued until my junior years in secondary school.

You see, I had attended two primary schools to be specific: Command Primary School Lagos and Home Science at Ikoyi in Lagos.

I remember while doing my third term in primary three, when our results came out and my class teacher called each pupil individually to come and receive their report card on her desk as she cautiously placed it in each of our palms. While it was my turn, as I got to the desk, she just stared at me through her medicated lenses with a look of disgust as she threw my report card to the floor.

I remember feeling inferior; like something was wrong with me, like God had intentionally created me with a low I.Q. I felt sad and somehow I felt like I was the biggest disappointment to my parents. Honestly….. I FELT DULL.

By the twinkle of an eye, years had rolled by and I found myself in JSS 3 about writing my junior secondary school certificate examination popularly known as J.S.C.E.

It was a night to our first paper and I felt like there was so much I needed to tell God as my heart had been burden with grief owing to my past failures in school. And so, during our night prep, I sat down with a pen in my hand and began scribbling down a prayer note to God. I can’t clearly recall all that I said but it was close to something like this:

Dear God,

You might not know me but I know you and my name is Michael and I have so much to share. You see, the past years have been rough for me and it has got me wondering “Lord, were have you been all this while?” “Have u been there?” coz each time I pray Lord is like you don’t answer and so I have decided to write you a letter.

God my exams are coming up and I need you to help me. In Church we are told to make prophetic declarations concerning what we want and so here’s my own declaration

Agricultural science-A

Mathematics-C (I’ll manage)

English-A

Social science-B

Etc.

Thank you father cause I know it is settled.

P.S

Michael Ogah.

That day while the rain fell heavily and the wind blew northwards, I folded the letter and addressed it to heaven. Then I stepped out of my class and let go of the letter as it swirled in the wind and finally landed on the grass. Somehow, I felt like while the letter swirled in the wind ,that was God reading it.

Finally, I and my colleagues had written the exams and the result was out. Even though my result was not as I asked, it was by far an Improvement. My latter years in senior secondary school were cropped with success stories and to end with, I graduated as the best literature and Christian religious studies student.

At last I had learnt so much about what we go through as humans. I learnt that over and over again, year after year we keep blooming as humans and we are given second chances to shine. I learnt to let go of the past, learn my lessons… never forget them but move on. I also learnt to forgive others and forgive myself because it is difficult to move forward and take advantage of second chances if you are stuck in the past. YOU JUST HAVE TO LET GO .

Today one of my favorite quotes is from Ann Landers, who says “If I were asked to give what I consider the single most important piece of advice for all humanity, it would be this:

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say “I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me”

Wow. I love that!

So people, let the bright sun shimmer on ya’ll , let the gentle rains touch you and let the vibrant colors and warmer temperatures caress you as you stroll on life’s pavement knowing that “your greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising every time you fail”

Peace.

Michael ogah.